Wednesday, July 26, 2006

The Saga Continues....

I’m back at the Señora’s house and haven’t seen a roach since the initial two encounters I wrote about previously. I do however now truly believe the roaches have mobilized and are coming to seek their revenge upon me.

This morning I woke up late, didn’t hear my alarm with my earplugs in, and began to get ready for breakfast, trying to make it look as if I showered and woke up at the appropriate time. As I’m walking around the room I hear a rustling noise coming from the corner of the room between my bed and the wall. In that corner of the room is a set of plastic shelves upon which I store my suitcase, sleeping bag and a number of other odds and ends. Right next to the shelves and the head of my bed is a space about a foot wide where I left a large clear plastic sack I had been using to hold my dirty laundry. When you take your clothes to the lavanderia here they typically return them to you folded in one of these bags. I have gotten into the habit of saving the bag and using them to collect my dirty laundry for the next trip to the lavanderia. Anyway, I hear a rustling noise and I immediately think it is a mouse or a rat because the noise was quite loud and whatever was causing the rustling sounded quite big. I’m not very excited about the prospect of a mouse or rat but they don’t really scare me. I had a mouse as a pet when I was young (Scuttles who ran on his squeaky metal wheel all night long and drove my parents crazy) so I think perhaps this is why I don’t mind the little guys. I walk over between my bed and the shelves and listen for the sound again. I hear it coming from the ground, look down at my plastic sack and see a very large roach scrambling around in the sack, amongst my dirty clothes, furiously trying to find a way out of his plastic trap. Now before you make any judgments, my clothes are not THAT dirty and have not attracted roaches before this incident. In fact I’m thinking that perhaps this roach was attracted to incredibly sweet smelling things, yes I think that is the only way to explain it. As I mentioned the bag is right next to the head of my bed and I immediately think about the roach climbing on and around my head the night before, perhaps looking in my open drooling mouth for his babies I consumed in my water bottle (see post below if this statement confuses you). Luckily I wear earplugs and an eye mask (yes I’m a princess) so he would at least not be able to scurry around in my ears or on my eyeballs, although I think this would have probably woken me up.

I panic a bit and the adrenaline starts pumping, I gross out as well because he is running around in my clothes and then I begin to brainstorm possible solutions to this conundrum. Crush the roach with my clothes in the bag? No way! Tie the top of the bag up without retrieving my clothes and hopefully the roach will die of starvation or lack of air? Probably take too long. Take the bag outside, turn it upside down, dump everything out and then get out of the roaches way? Yes!

Going with the last option I picked up the bag, carefully tied the top into a knot so it couldn’t climb out and walked outside. Once well enough outside of my room (the room I share is actually detached from the main house with a porch in between) I untied the knot, put the bag on the ground, jumped away and hoped that the roach would just run out of the bag and out of my life forever. It didn’t. I had to inch towards the bag, pick it up by the corner, shake it a bit which caused some socks and undies to fall out and the dumb thing still couldn’t figure it out. Finally I pick up the bag and shake all my clothes out (the roach was sort of in the back and my clothes were in the front), careful to hold it at arms length, lay it back on the ground and wait for the stupid thing to run free. It continues to butt its head at the wrong end of the bag looking for an exit so at this point I feel that the roach is much too stupid to live and I decide to kill it in the bag. I stomped on that bag until its body resembled a smooshy large brown mass. If my señora was watching me she must have thought I had gone mad. My clothes were strewn about the patio and I’m stomping on a clear plastic laundry bag as if my life depended on it! Once dead I picked up my clothes, grabbed the bag, tied the top in a knot, just in case it wasn’t dead and threw it away. If my señora was watching this whole thing she didn’t say anything, or didn’t know how to react to such an odd display but she must think Americans are quite strange.

I have already launched my offensive, the little plastic bowl is back over the shower drain, the sink drain is plugged and I fashioned two toilet paper plugs which are now inserted into the holes in the sink that prevent overflow. I’m not at all sure this will work but it makes me feel better and allows me to have a false sense of security so I can fall asleep tonight. Bring it roach!

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